When hearing the word “cancer,” most people’s minds immediately flicker to thoughts of an early demise—perhaps a painful one, as the body deteriorates, consumed from the inside.
But if you look beyond the fear of death and the uncertainty of an unknown future, you will find something even more concerning. At the core of a cancer diagnosis lies a deeper existential anxiety: the dread of not having lived up to one’s potential and purpose.
The fear of death is the surface tension of the still pond of your life. When broken, it reveals depths of regret, grief, and loss. An early death might mean never meeting your grandchildren. The debilitation and financial drain of cancer might preclude taking that overseas trip you saved for as a post-retirement celebration.
Regrets over a life unfulfilled, brought into focus by declining health, may seem inevitable. However, it does not exist without a corresponding remedy. Like all good medicine, the cure restores balance, and in this case, healing begins with turning your attention to anything that fills your heart with wonder.
Image by DALL-E, OpenAI
There may be dreams out of reach after a cancer diagnosis, but there is far more to appreciate than to despair over—if you allow your perspective to shift. Facing mortality can open more doors than it closes. Hearing a songbird, watching a single leaf or snowflake fall—every breath you take can be an opportunity to experience joy.
It sounds simple, but having faced a stage 4 diagnosis in my early 30s, I know that simple is not the same as easy. There is a way through the darkness, and it starts with taking stock of everything you love about being alive. Then, having done so, think about expanding that list, adding new things to appreciate with each passing day.
Look to all areas of your life—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual—and reflect on what makes you feel more alive. Make a list, and consult it often as a reminder of all the beauty in the world that you cherish and will continue to cherish with renewed vigor born from the awareness of mortality. There are countless things that make you feel alive if you let them; bear witness to them.
When death finds you, let it find you alive. Embrace life, with all its pain and beauty, and allow every moment to be an opportunity to experience pure, unbridled wonder.
“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
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